My Promise To Myself … And You … For 2016

My Promise To Myself … And You … For 2016

Over the last few days I feel like I have been having a mini-meltdown. As I took some time this morning to think about what has been going on, I felt I wanted to share this with you in the hope that it will help just one of you out there.

This year has been hard! It has been busy, challenging, messy and nothing like I thought it would be. But you know what? Life is busy, challenging, messy and hard. All mixed up with these little moments of amazingness and beauty as well.

The problem is the pressure we put on ourselves to make life perfect. The pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect. The pressure we place on ourselves to ‘fix’ everything. And the pressure we place on ourselves to have to do everything without asking for any help.

As much as I love social media for what it allows me to do in my business, I also think it just adds to this pressure. Whenever we open up our Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest feeds all we see is other people ‘living’ these perfect lives that we ourselves crave. As much as we know that all we are seeing is someone’s highlight reels, it does nothing for building our own self-esteem.

A few weeks ago I was listening to an interview with a very inspiring lady in the health and wellness world who has just launched her new book (for those of you that know who I’m talking about I do think she is amazing!). The interviewer asked her whether she had struggled with anything during the process of putting this book out into the world. As she paused to reflect on her answer I kept thinking, ‘please say something that makes you seem real’! Her answer was, ‘no, there’s nothing that I can think of’. And my heart sank because how many other people were listening to this interview whose heart sank as well as they judged themselves for the inadequacy they were feeling in their own lives?

Just before this I had seen a photograph on Istagram of the inside of the fridge of another (amazing!) health and wellness guru that we all know and love. The inside of the fridge was perfect! But it was obviously staged as there were perfectly placed, individual strawberries everywhere! And again my heart sank as I watched everyone post comments on how their fridges looked nothing like this, but how they would strive to make it do so.

Do you see where I’m coming from?

So my promise to myself, and you, for 2016 is this:

I promise to take pressure of myself.
I promise to go from 5th gear down to 3rd.
I promise to let life be messy, challenging, busy and hard.
I promise to let myself ask for help if I need it.
I promise to let those things go that I can’t control.
I promise to let life not be perfect.
I promise to appreciate those little moments of amazingness and beauty.
I promise to do more of those things that light me up.
I promise to take better care of myself
I promise to give myself permission to put myself first.
I promise to hold onto my dream but to be ok with life just happening.
I promise to show up each day, do my best and let that be absolutely good enough.
I promise to not let you feel any personal shame.
I promise to be honest and real about how life really is.
I promise to be there for you in the best way that I can.
I promise to show you how to do all this for yourself!

A little while ago I was talking to my sister and we were talking about how hard this year had been. And she said to me, “80% of the time my life is nowhere near how I imagine it should be, but 20% of the time it is perfect. It’s that 20% that keeps me holding onto my dreams”!

So, lets just all hang onto that 20% that is perfect. Because that is the best advice that I have ever heard!

My last promise to you is that I will continue to show up and be really honest with the work that I do. I promise to give you the ‘No B.S Guide to Life’ in all that I share.

I am looking forward to sharing more of this journey with you all, and I wish you all a happy and safe New Year!

Love Always,

Nicola xo

10 Comments

  1. Beautiful sentiments Nicola, totally loving the no BS approach! Why beat ourselves up about the past…or a social media representation of reality that we don’t know the full story of? Self acceptance is so much sweeter. x

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    • It is Anna! Wishing you a lovely New Years xo

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  2. As usual, you manage to make me feel better! Thank you so much for being real and giving us the courage to be real too! Amanda x

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    • Lots of love to you gorgeous girl xo

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  3. Nicola, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I needed to read this! Some days, I feel like I can take on the world and some days (like today) I feel utterly crushed by my own pressure. Thank you so much for the reminder to be a little nicer and easier on myself, especially as we move into a new year! xx

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    • I hear you honey!! There are days where I feel completely overwhelmed as well, but just know that you are rocking it out there xo

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  4. Oh my Nicola, I really enjoyed reading this post. And what funny timing – as I just walked in and sat down to read this after having an argument with my hubby, crying out of frustration, and thinking well that was a ‘real’ way to start New Years Day… Lucky I’m not expecting perfection in all areas of life and relationships to have clicked over into 2016 hehe.

    Personally, being ‘real’ on social media is important to me. However, my interpretation of ‘real’ is complex, not black and white, and a shifting shade of grey depending on the context (and this is coming from someone who’s personality testing results reveals ‘honesty’ as my #1 strength). I know that personally being real means sharing the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ – IF I think it will help those that read it – but balancing this with not sharing absolutely everything, as some things are private, personal and frankly no business of my audience (or help to them and my area of expertise or niche either).

    I can feel a blog post or newsletter brewing within me on this topic, as I keep seeing it come up, especially at this time of the year. Given it’s complexity, I think it warrants more attention – and I have so much to say about it that will hopefully help people think a little differently about it, and help challenge their mindset when absorbing an abundance of glossy photos and beautiful interviews (that in my eyes, depending on the context, are often still very real). Thanks for the inspiration!

    You have also inspired me to start joining in on @miss_kms @heart_sparks #truelifetuesday posts occasionally on Instagram – where they share photos that aren’t curated and give glimpses to the less perfect elements of life and business. x

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    • Thank you for sharing this Naomi! And I completely agree with everything you have just beautifully written. I love the #truelifetuesday posts that those girls do and I do think there is a shift starting for us all to be just that little bit more ‘real’. Sending you lots of love xo

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  5. Beautiful Nicola – such a spot on post! Xxx

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    • Thank you lovely xo

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