A few weeks ago I shared an interview with the amazing Cassie Mendoza-Jones for the launch of her first book, ‘You Are Enough’. If you haven’t read the interview you can do so here.
Cassie is an author, kinesiologist and naturopath who works with women who feel stuck, unworthy and disconnected from themselves to help them increase their self-belief, elevate their thoughts and align their energy. You can learn more about Cassie’s work by visiting her gorgeous website www.elevatevitality.com.au.
Over the last few weeks I have been delving into Cassie’s new book and today I want to share with you some of the insights and ‘lightbulb’ moments that I took away. And as someone who struggles with perfectionism believe me when I say there were many!
While I am going to be focusing on perfectionism in this post, I really encourage any (all) of you that find yourself hopping on the comparison train from time to time, or who find it hard to set boundaries in your life, or who suffer from low self-worth to go out and buy this book today. You definitely won’t regret it!
My struggle with perfectionism was challenged early on in Cassie’s book when I read the following sentence:
“Please let this book be 100% yours … Dog-ear the corners of pages that you love, highlight words, phrases, sentences or whole paragraphs if they ring true for you.”
I have to admit that all the books I own look as brand new as the day I bought them. Every insight I get from a book is carefully recorded in a journal. I have never dog-earred a page or highlighted a sentence in my life. Not even in my textbooks from University. But it was obviously time to start!
At the beginning of her book Cassie shares six comparison blocks that we get caught up in. The first two had my name written all over them.
“Comparison Block #1: You compare yourself to your ‘perfect’ self”
“Comparison Block #2: You compare yourself to your ideal potential”
Before reading Cassie’s book I would have said that I didn’t suffer from ‘comparisonitis’. What I now realise is, while I may not struggle with comparing myself to others, I constantly compare myself to my ‘perfect’ or ‘ideal’ self.
From here Cassie challenged me to ask why I felt the need to push myself so hard? Why wasn’t I able to see that who I am now is enough? What Cassie helped me realise was that my constant striving for perfectionism actually masked a fear that people would think I was a fraud.
It is very easy, particularly when you work and market yourself in an online space, to feel like the whole world is watching you. This often makes me feel like I need to be living a certain way in order for people to choose to work with me. But what I now understand is … people aren’t going to work with me because I drink green juice or do yoga every day, but because the knowledge that I have as a physiotherapist and life coach can help free them of pain.
Not only has this fear been driving my relentless need for perfection, but it can also cause me to hold back from sharing my work with the world. The following questions that Cassie asks really hit home for me in relation to this:
“How scared was I of not doing the right thing? How scared was I of actually becoming successful? Was I up for the challenge? Did I want to draw attention to myself, to become visible? Did I have the confidence to lead, and to make big, bold decisions?”
What these questions made me realise is … if I am really committed to helping you learn ways to manage stress and overwhelm, to listen to the messages your body is sending you and to make self-care a priority in your life, then I have to be up for that challenge. I have to be seen. And I have to have the confidence to lead. So, thank you Cassie for giving me the permission to do so by knowing that who I am now is enough!
Managing stress and overwhelm is something that Cassie also talks about a lot in her book, along with the physical symptoms that being in a state of constant overdrive can lead to. When we constantly push ourselves to ‘do’ and ‘be’ more we forget to listen to the messages our body is sending us. Cassie is spot on when she says:
“We don’t listen to our bodies so we don’t rest when we are tired, we become mentally depleted and emotionally fragile. I see this with my clients where they push themselves through physical exhaustion to the point where they end up injured.”
Does this sound like you? My bet is that you are nodding your head right now.
Cassie also provides a wonderful set of tools to help you get unstuck, let go of what is holding you back, release the ‘old’ to make way for the ‘new’ and start living a life free of comparison. Her book will help you build your self-worth, self-esteem and self-acceptance and start you on an amazing journey towards living a fulfilling life.
So I really encourage you to head to Cassie’s website (www.elevatevitality.com.au) today to grab your own copy of ‘You Are Enough’. I promise it will be a game-changer. And if you have already read Cassie’s book I would love for you to share your own insights with me in the comments below.
Yours in Healing & Health,
PS. My guess is that you will know of at least one person who you think would benefit from reading Cassie’s book as well, so please feel free to share this post with them.